Today was a new experience for me - one that I was not totally looking forward to, but I knew that I had to go through it sooner or later. Today was the first day, since the baby was born, that I chose to be home by myself with the two boys.
This may not seem like a big deal to many of you out there, but it was to me. Dawson was home with me almost all of last week, and then either my sister, my mom or my dad would stop by to spend some time with me and help out when needed.
Today, I knew that I could not have anyone else here, but I asked Dawson to stay home and then I told him that he really needed to go to work. I was just fearful of the unknown. What would it be like with a two year old and a 16 day old? What would I do when I needed to go upstairs to check on the baby? How would Brady handle all of this? Lately, Brady has been more snuggly with me - which I love - but also a little more needy...which is just in response to the baby being here now.
So, I started my day in tears - just feeling a little overwhelmed and inadequate. Dawson prayed for me and I prayed too. However, I did think to myself - how am I going to do this? It was at that point that the Holy Spirit quickened in my heart the verse, "I can do ALL things through Christ, Who strengthens me" (Phil 4:13). When I was reminded of this verse, it gave me confidence, knowing that the Lord was going to help me through this day.
And guess what? I did make it through this day and it was a good day. When the baby was down for a nap, Brady and I had fun together and I realized at that moment how important that I was the only one that was there for him to play with today - he needed that Mommy time. So, tomorrow is a new day. I just need to be sure to get as much sleep as I am able to tonight, so that I can face another day with my two boys (and hopefully not have the tears again!) :)