If you have had an infant, you may understand what I have been going through...
I really enjoy the church that we go to. I enjoy the worship, the warfare - which was awesome today with the drums - the message, and the Lord has brought some wonderful friends into my life through the church (I have met most of them through Life Group or MIA).
However, now that I have an infant, things have changed a little bit. With Smiles' schedule, I am able to enjoy the worship but I have been missing the message, and I have to admit, I really do not feel like I have the time to listen to the message on a CD at home (although I am wondering if I would ever have time to listen to it if I downloaded it to an IPOD - although I do not have one of them yet!). They do have the message playing in the nursing moms' room, but I really do not get to listen to it - not at the age that Smiles is at - I am focusing more on getting him to nurse and eat too.
I have been really wondering if it is "worth it" to go to church.
Well, for the past two weeks, something within me felt like we needed to make sure that we were in church, and I am thankful that we went.
Last week, we had Smiles prayed over for a potential cyst that is located on his head behind his ear. We are believing for complete healing. The cyst is still there at the moment, but we are believing that the Lord is going to heal it before he may need surgery on it (the pediatrician is suggesting that a pediatric surgeon look at and possibly remove it when he is a year old - so, that means we look forward to the manifestation of healing during these next 5 and 1/2 months!). We do appreciate you partnering with us in prayer for Smiles' healing!
This week, my family from Long Island was here and we are believing for another complete healing (without going into details).
The time that I was in the sanctuary was wonderful - God really met me and ministered to me while I was there. However, I do have to say that the Lord has also been present when I have been in the nursing moms' room. Smiles does not nurse the greatest in there because he is so curious about his surroundings - which started to frustrate me, but I just had to accept that and realize that he had more meals coming to him during the rest of the day. The Lord has also placed other moms in the room that I have enjoyed getting to know and pray for.
Sundays are definitely hard days when you have kids - naps get thrown off, etc - but I have realized (again, since this is the second time around), but this is only for a season. I do miss hearing the messages, but the Lord has still met me where I am.
4 comments:
I remember feeling the same way... wondering if it was worth it, with my oldest, Squiggly-Wiggly when he was a baby. Especially one weekend when HotSauce was out of town. Squiggly-Wiggly never really could tolerate the volume during worship, and he always nursed during the message, so I basically went to church to pace the halls and nurse my baby! But another mom in the nursing moms room encouraged me to keep coming anyhow.
Sometimes I listened to the CDs in the car on a walkman with tape-adapter while running errands, etc. But there were also several I never listened to.
I love this post. With my four oldest, believe me I logged some serious time in that nursing mother's room. And it's come a long way from what it was when I had Shaggy :)
I would echo your feelings to hang in there. Even if you get nothing out of the service, which is sooooo highly unlikely!!!!, the spiritual discipline that you and D are modeling for your boys is priceless. The atmosphere that you are exposing them to, allowing to soak into their hearts and minds, is beyond riches. The Lord knows that this season of your life is harder for you to press in personally and individually, and He has total grace for your distractions and interruptions. I believe He smiles over you while you are in this stage of life, giving your all to your boys. You will never be sorry you chose this route, and the investment you make when you get everyone up and fed and dressed and out the door week after week will pay off in HUGE DIVIDENDS. I promise. His Word promises. You can bank on it.
And if you are a sentimental mom like me, someday you will MISS the days in the nursing moms room. Snuggling your little one while worship washes over you. Praying and talking and sharing with other moms who are right were you are. Cherish it, even as hard as it might be some weeks!
Hugs to you - you are doing a GREAT job as these boys' mommy. You are blessed!
I thought this alot (I still do since Princess refuses to go to her class, but that is a different story.) Anyhow, I did enjoy going just because I got to chat with other adults. I realized I wasn't going to hear the message, but I still got fellowship which at that point in my life I was lacking.
You know it only lasts a couple of months. Before you know it, Smiles will be going to his class and you will be in the sanctuary.
I sometimes get tears in my eyes when I pass the nursing moms room....they grow up so fast!
But, this season you are in is one of great sacrifice on your part and God sees your faithfulness to your family! I'll be praying for God to set up some creative time for you to be ministered to!
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