Monday, September 17, 2007

Free To Be Me

My sister wrote a post today titled "Who's Painting Your Canvas." She is leading the MIA group at our church and God has downloaded some awesome stuff to her that we will be discussing this year.

I know for myself, I have definitely gone through various phases in my life where I have felt rejected by others. The first time that I really felt this was when I changed schools for my high school years. In the Christian school that I was attending (from 3rd-8th grade), I had some girls that I was friends with...but I guess they were not true friends. You see, when I changed schools, they decided that they were no longer going to be friends with me. Some of the teachers were actually giving me some "attitude" about changing schools as well! It was really hard at that time in my life to lose all of the friends that I had and to enter into a new place, knowing no one. I did make a lot of great friends at the high school that I was attending, but there was rejection that took hold of me - and it was really hard to get over (I just sort of shoved it to the "back" of my mind). I believe that when I was in college, I was finally able to release this to the Lord and gain healing from it.

There have been a number of other times that I have felt rejection from others, but the Lord has been teaching me that what matters most is what He thinks of me, not what others think of me. I am precious in His sight. I need to only answer to Him for my actions (and that is huge in itself!). He is still teaching me to really hold on to this truth and to be who He has created me to be.

Becoming a wife and now a Mommy has been a huge transition from the single life, but I would not trade it! I love being a wife and Mommy. In this new phase of my life, I am still discovering who I am - who He created me to be. I am not only a wife and Mommy - I have other giftings and talents in me that makes me who I am, and I am still learning to tap into all of those things.

Am I free to be me? I believe that I am still discovering who "me" is...and I am learning to be free in who I am. I am not held captive by what I think I should be, but I am enjoying the discovery of who God created me to be. I am a work in progress...His masterpiece!


Melissa said...

Can I tell you something honestly? The meanest girls we have ever encountered were in Christian school!

But, anyhoo, rejection is a funny thing (well, not really) in that we all go through it and sometimes the people we think are rejecting us don't even know they are doing it (they are merely being selfish or inconsiderate)! I read the book, Captivated, and it changed how I viewed myself (most of the time)and how I thought God viewed me. It is hard to feel rejected now for more than a few moments!

And, you are a masterpiece! He has even better things in store for you than what you can imagine! I can't wait to see what He continues to paint on your canvas!

Classic MaMa said...

:) I'm still figuring out who I am too. I always tell Scarlett that I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up. :)

TCC said...

I don't know whether I should laugh or cry! What you wrote is so powerful and I want to shout in agreement with you...and at the same time witnessing what you have had to walk through causes great emotion to well up inside causing tears to fill my eyes and overflow.

I love you sis!

WooHoo! (Just had to shout!)